inkwreaths | you can hate me, after you pay me

you can hate me, after you pay me

[Belkend was supposed to be a simple job. Although Sync was assigned to him as his partner--as it had been ever since Luke's 'miraculous' escape--Guy had found a pocket of time for himself. Take a walk along the port to clear his head, think over on the next course of action to take. What he hadn't expected was a surprise encounter with his friends.

Maybe it was 'former' friends, judging by their reactions. Guy couldn't say he blamed them. If someone close to him had pulled such a stunt, he'd find it hard to forgive.

Breathing heavily, he slumped against the alley's wall. Shaking them off his trail was harder than he thought it'd be. Guy ran a hand over his face, winced at the sting the various cuts across his face gave. No healers were allowed to see him on the God General's ship. He'd been half-afraid that Van would kill him on the spot, but, as he guessed, the man still had a soft spot for him. Being on a leash was better than being dead.

In any case, that was a close call. He can't afford to cross swords with them again, or to see the look on Luke's face.]

Stupid... [He pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to concentrate. Sync was still in the city. If they found him or if Sync thought he ran off on his own...] I got to head back.

[The ship, though not the most welcoming or the safest place to be, was the most cautious move he could think of.]

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[When it came down to it, he really couldn't give even his half best against Guy. The others were more practical or capable but Luke could only think that it was all too stupid. They couldn't fight their friend. And after enough shouting about it with them, he got them to back off looking for Guy and let him handle it.

Maybe he can get Guy away now. But whatever he does, Guy is hurt and all he can think about is will the God Generals take care of him? Is he fending for himself? Will Master Van make sure he's okay?

Luke comes to a halt, panting. Where had he gone? He navigates around piles of cargo and boxes until he spies him. The smile that hits his face in a wave of relief can't be helped.]

Guy! Damn, you're fast! You- [Ah. He's more beat up than Luke thought.] -You idiot!

[He hadn't expected Luke to follow him. Guy looks up in surprise, eyes widening.]

... huh? [He doesn't hear any extra footsteps. Did he really go ahead by himself to look for him?] Luke, what the hell are you doing here?

What do you mean what am I doing here?

[He sighs as he walks closer. After running so hard, he can still hear his heart pounding.]

What are you doing? You're hurt. Come on, I know you won't let Tear do it but let's go to the inn and I'll buy some stuff to take care of it.

[Guy doesn't draw back, but the look on his face isn't exactly the happiest. He puts his hands on his hips.]

Did you follow me just because of that?

[Luke makes a face before shaking his head.]

What the hell kind of questions are these? Of course I did! You're hurt and I don't trust the others to get you taken care of soon, so I'm going to do it.

I can take care of myself. [He knows that with how it looks it probably doesn't seem that way. But whatever. They both agreed on this course of action. If they were to waver from it now, it'd mean the loss of what they've been working towards.]

Go back to the others. If Sync catches you here, he'll take you back to that ship and I won't be able to help you.

[Of course he knows that he can't take Sync on his own. With the others, they could do it - well, they have to be able to eventually, so it's likely - but by himself? And then Guy would be put into a terrible position.

But Luke just shakes his head.]

I'm not going back until I make sure you're okay, so you might as well come with me.

[Guy doesn't have the time to argue with Luke on this. With an exasperated sigh he turns around, intending to leave.]

I said I'm fine. Drop it, Luke, don't be a child.

[He jerks in surprise at the insult, scowling. Guy might tease him with things like that but he sounds so irritated now that it isn't teasing. Luke rushes forward.]

And I said I'm not leaving, damn it!

[He reaches out to grab Guy's shoulder to stop him or make him look at him. Either one will suffice.]

[If Luke wanted him to turn around, fine. He's turning around, annoyance visible as he shrugs off his grip.]

Are you even listening to me? I told you: Sync is here! I can't lead him back to you! There's no way in hell you can take him by yourself, so I need you to get back to Natalia and the others. Do you understand?

[Luke draws back his hand for now but just keeps scowling. Guy doesn't get it at all does he? It's Luke's fault he's in this position in the first place.]

I'll go back when I'm done! I'm getting you taken care of first. So just shut up and let me help you!

You can help me by going back. [Guy folds his arms across his chest, as if trying to keep himself resolved. He can't afford to help Luke escape a second time if he falls into Van's grasp.] Don't be so selfish.

You're the one being selfish! It's why you're hurt right now!

[He didn't actually mean to say that but it comes out anyway. All he's done since he escaped was worry about Guy. All he ends up thinking about is Guy. And seeing him hurt, not knowing how he'll be after this-]

What do you think I've been doing all this time? [Guy hasn't deluded himself into thinking that he's anything less than selfish. This entire situation was born from his selfishness, from wanting to save Luke at any cost. But he understands now that it's a wrong that he has to right, which is why he can't leave the presence of the God Generals until he gets the data from Dist. Sometimes, he feels like he's being led by the nose, tricked into following them for a nonexistent reward, but he's seen that chance. He has to grasp at it.

His head hurts and his heart hurts. He wishes he could play at being blissfully ignorant as he had at the Fabre's manor. But he can't place the blame on Luke.]

I don't care what you think. I don't care what you do, as long as you don't approach me. But if you're going to place your life on the line when you don't need to, I damn well won't let you do that!

[Luke groans and runs his hands through his hair. Guy might have a point but this is still stupid. Why can't he keep Guy safe? Why did it have to go like this in the first place?

He knows, in the end, it's all because he was born. That's why. And that's why he'll take care of Guy somehow.]

And I'm saying the same thing to you! They're not going to take care of you. Give me ten minutes. I'm not letting you run off like this when you're already in over your head over there by yourself! [The hands in his hair run down his face.] I shouldn't have left.

[Those words stop him cold.] Don't say that.

[He frowns.] It's true. I should have just gotten a letter to them to explain everything and then let myself get captured again. I'm not saying I will now but I didn't even think of it then...

You stupid--

[It's Guy's turn to grab Luke by the shoulders, his grip tight.] You really think it's all right to hurt yourself like that? You want everyone to be happy, don't you? So how the hell is that going to help anyone? You better drop that train of thought right now.

[Luke freezes the grip, mostly in surprised, but the next moment he looks down. He hates it when they catch onto his thoughts, especially Guy. It just makes them more upset. How is he supposed to make them happy if he never seems to do it at all?]

You'd be safer if I was there, that's all I meant.

[He hates it when Luke gets this way. Granted, it was his mindset ever since Akzeriuth, but sometimes the way he gets into it makes him see red. He needs a moment to stop acting so emotionally, but all he can think about is Dist's lab and when he does--]

You really are an idiot. If you're so concerned about me, think about how I'd feel if you went back.

I am thinking about it!

[Luke shuts his eyes. Right. He screwed up, he knows that, and he knows Guy was hurting, but there had to be a better way than this. He's thought about it and there were definitely other things he could have done. Maybe he could have tried to make Master Van happy with him somehow. Maybe he should have encouraged Dist's own project to cause friction in the group or... or something.

There had to be a better way than abandoning Guy. He let the pain get to him and let Guy down, too. Even if it would have hurt him, if Luke had thought of something better, this could have been resolved.]

All I think about is what I can do better to save you! I can't go back and fix things. It's always like this. [All of his mistakes pile up into something heavier for him to carry and that's his own fault. It's fine if it happens to him but not when it hurts the others.] But at least right now I can make sure you're safe before you disappear again!

You don't get to hurt yourself and say it's for the sake of someone else. That's not how it works.

[He should've left by now, but Guy doesn't turn to leave as he did before. Instead, his fingers lightly caress Luke's cheek, his tone better controlled. It wasn't right that Luke had to make himself out as the root of all problems. And it wasn't fair that, no matter how much Guy reassured him, there would be no relieving that burden.]

Luke... trust me when I say I'll be okay. I know it isn't easy to believe me, but I know we'll be able to meet again soon. Just, it can't be now.

[At the touch, Luke raises his head slightly. He doesn't know what to say without making it sound like he doubts Guy. He doesn't, not in the least, but he doubts the God Generals. He doubts Master Van, too. Although he wants to believe that Master Van still cares about Guy, his heart refuses to settle.]

...I do believe you, Guy. I always do. You know that. But I...

[Guy is hurt because of him. Why doesn't he understand that? Luke flexes his fingers. Seventh fonons heal, right? He knows he can do that, just a little bit, but...]

Just, look, please just sit down for a second. I can do this.

[Guy lets go of Luke with a sigh. He hates it when he looks like that. It's hard to stay angry at him when he does. Easing himself down, he wearily nods.]

Fine. But just for a second.

[Luke smiles and kneels down in front of him. Compared to Tear, his healing artes might as well not exist. He can only usually use it to patch himself up a little when Tear or Natalia can't. But he focuses for Guy and the dim light forms in his palms. Cupping Guy's face to get those wounds first, he sighs.]

Uhm, sorry about that. I explained everything but they're still mad at you. I'll talk to them again later though. I think they'll take it better this time since they let me go after you.

I can't believe they let you go in the first place. Jade must be getting senile. [Guy thought he could count on him to be the voice of reason to hold Luke back. Although the healing artes aren't as strong as Natalia or Tear's, it still gives a soothing feeling that eases some of the tension from his shoulders. He hadn't realized how much he'd been hurting until now, though vestiges of a headache still remain.]

You must've made quite a scene.

[Luke can't help grinning. Okay maybe he shouldn't be proud of that but whatever. Seeing Guy relax just makes it all the more genuine.]

Well, yeah. I couldn't just leave you alone after you got hurt like that. And... I've been worrying about you a lot. I guess they probably figure it's better to let me do this than be even more distracted.

[He might as well admit to that, too. Guy would know anyway.]

[Luke doesn't have to say it outright for Guy to guess. He was, after all, an embarrassingly transparent person.]

Like I said. I would've been fine. I've had worse traveling with you guys. [He sighs again.] You can't let yourself mope like that, Luke.

[He can't let himself get too worked up while focusing on this, so he just huffs softly.]

I'm not moping! I'm just... worried. I never know where you are, so it's not like I can leave you messages somehow. And you can't leave them for me since you could get caught. I know you're going to say something like, 'Luke I can handle it' or whatever but knowing you're alone over there... I can't stand it!

Sorry. [In retrospect, confessing aboard that ship was a terrible idea, huh? Guy can't move with Luke's hands on his face, so he winds up sighing again.]

I can't tell you much right now, but I'm sure I'll be able to leave soon. Until then, you've got to be strong. Got it?

[It was, because realising he's in love with someone and someone is in love with him only made amplified all of Luke's feelings - good and bad. The amount of care and concern gripping his heart feels like it could crush him.]

I know, I know! I just want to be able to help you. I'm never able to. It's why you wound up so scared and kidnapped me in the first place.

[It'd be a lie to say that he's stopped being scared. Staying close to Van, despite what he did to him, wondering if the God Generals would catch Luke before Guy could make his escape-- all of it was exhausting. But for both of their sakes, he had to keep moving.]

You're ridiculous. [Guy sighs and tilts back his head.] You're helping me right now, aren't you?

[Luke smiles slightly.] You're comforting me again.

[He puts his hands on Guy's chest, still focusing what he can into healing, before kissing his jaw.]

...Thanks. I'm still going to worry about you all the time. You're worrying, too.

[Despite the urgency he felt earlier he can't help but smile at the kiss.]

Not as much as you. I know you're in good hands, after all. [Read: not his.]

[Luke leans his head against him. He missed being able to be close to him more than he thought.]

I guess you're more worried I'll do something stupid.

[It's been too long since he's had the comfort of Luke's company. Guy wraps his arms around him.]

No, my focus is on Van for now. I believe in you, even when you pull stupid stunts like this.

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you can hate me, after you pay me

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