[He hated hoping. He hated wanting. His desires flickered as brightly as the fires he feared, and he understood that reaching for them would result in being burned. Wasn't it better to snuff it out altogether? Wasn't that what they agreed on? Why, then, was she trying to stoke it like this?

Seki can't look at Monica. Doesn't have to look at her to know the expression on her face, or to see the nervousness twined throughout her. The rough wood of the chopsticks press uncomfortably against his fingers as his grip tightens. He can't let himself be tricked again into opening his heart. He's learned his lesson and doesn't need to go through that shit twice.

Instead, he says:]

I'll take you back home. [Clumsy words fall out of his mouth, without any thought. Just a steady rush in an effort to find some steady ground.] You're so easygoing, someone's going to take advantage of you one day. Don't talk like that. Of course I don't think about it.

[All the times he's waited to catch that glimpse of gold--]

I don't get you, sometimes.