[It is her, and he's not crazy, and she knows it's him, too. He supposes he could take off his mask and lay it all out on the table but he's become far too accustomed to having it not only as a way to obscure his identity, but as protection. He likes having something between himself and everyone else. Makes him harder to read. Reminds him that the man he used to be is dead, and he's someone (something) else now.
But Ana right in front of him makes that hard. Forces him to retread the past. He thinks about the days following the mission, anger threatening to bubble over and out of him.]
I had to tell Fareeha.
[That's so, so, selfish to say. It's mean, meant to make her feel guilt with which she's most certainly burdened. Taking her relationship with her daughter and making it about him and his feelings and the way that mission hurt. It all feeds back into the greater betrayal that's the only thing that drives him.]
no subject
But Ana right in front of him makes that hard. Forces him to retread the past. He thinks about the days following the mission, anger threatening to bubble over and out of him.]
I had to tell Fareeha.
[That's so, so, selfish to say. It's mean, meant to make her feel guilt with which she's most certainly burdened. Taking her relationship with her daughter and making it about him and his feelings and the way that mission hurt. It all feeds back into the greater betrayal that's the only thing that drives him.]