inkwreaths | AU; ain't no rest for the wicked

[Although they may not seem it, Shintaro thinks Shinji can be like his sister sometimes. Most people may call them opposites, but Shintaro sees it in them both: there's a loneliness that comes from not receiving enough attention, of being cast aside in the shadows of someone else or just out of other people's sight. A look that lights up in their eyes every time they receive even the smallest of praise. The world always forgot his sister because they wanted a piece of Shintaro's genius -- he didn't like the attention either, so he envied how easily Momo was left alone; yet at the same time, he knew she deserved to and wanted to have the attention, too; the world wasn't fair. And Shinji, he knew from even the short while that he's been employed by Gendo, also didn't receive enough attention at all.

What a stupid thing to have, really. Sentimentality. It wasn't necessary for what they were doing, but he returns Shinji's smile and thinks it isn't bad at all. He failed with Momo, and he finds himself not wanting to fail this kid.]

You would've been fine. Just maybe with a few more mistakes. [He stretches, glancing over at the clock on the wall.] We'll probably be done by one. We don't have to go in as early tomorrow, anyway.

You praise me too much.

[He's a little embarrassed with how he looks away, but it's clear he's pleased.

Family was a term ascribed to two people bound to one another. Shinji knows he's his father's son, that one day he'll inherit what his father's built. The blood shared between them was there, even if his father wasn't. It had hurt when he was younger and naive enough to hope, but he was older now. Smart enough to push it aside, because allowing his attention to waver from what he'd been born to do would cut through that fragile link between the one man he despised and respected.

He didn't expect Shintaro, or Ene. He was accustomed to distance and the chill of formality, not this comfortable sense of attachment. He had friends, once, before he had to move away to work with his father. Sitting in this room, listening to the low hum of the air conditioning and the scratch of his pencil--

If home was a place of comfort, this was the closest to "home" he's felt in ages.]

Things have been quiet this week. [It's never quiet enough to warrant a day off, however. Shinji gets started on the next set of problems.] I'm kind of glad.

[On the other hand, the warmth of family is the only warmth Shintaro knew for most of his life. School was never easy, with children so easily envious of the attention he got for being smart. A lot smarter than the rest. Too smart, for them. It was attention he never asked for, both positive and negative. His mother and sister were the only people who treated him like anything worth their time, before -- before he left it behind. Ene and Shinji were unexpected to him, too. By the time he met Shinji he was more willing to talk to him, but he had tried to get rid of Ene plenty of times before.

He closes his eyes while leaning back against the bed behind him, the rhythmic scratch of graphite on paper soothing enough. Soothing. That feeling too is something he thought he left behind. He smiles, but he thinks about how easily he was separated from them before. How easily Guy Cecil had hidden Shinji away, for the sake of a message to that jerk of a man like Gendo Ikari. He controls his hand to keep it from curling into a fist. A hair on Shinji's head and he'd make him pay for it with a bullet, but anger would cloud his judgement. He has to let go of it.]

It's a good chance to get some rest, [he responds.] We have to go in, but a day without missions just means a day full of shitty free coffee. It's not bad.

[By all accounts, Shintaro was ordinary. Normal. In a city like this, he should be someone struggling to eek out a typical existence. Shinji's ceased thinking of himself as normal from a very young age: there's no chance of him regaining that status.

(As if he's ever had it in the first place.)

But Shintaro was different. Maybe it was the way he regarded the city as if it was something unbelievable, the way he still harvested anger where resignment should've grown. The incident with Guy was only a mild discomfort in a long stream of misfortunes. Yet--

The pencil continues to move smoothly across the paper.]

Shintaro, can I ask you something?

Hmm?

[It was a reversal of sorts for him. A few years ago, he wouldn't have blinked at the sort of things that happened here. Chances were, he would have been annoyed by being partnered with someone, especially someone younger like Shinji, and gone off on his own. He wouldn't have left him behind or killed him off, but he doesn't think he would've felt the surge of protectiveness or anger he's keenly aware of now. Really, Ene sure did cause him some unnecessary changes.

He glances over at Shinji sensing that this isn't a question about his assignment.]

What is it?

[He hesitates.] What did you come to this city for?

[He doesn't answer immediately. He leans back where he sits, watches Shinji for any further motions, and rolls his shoulders and neck.]

Why do you want to know? [He's not being defensive, but this is still a city full of secrets. Does Shinji really want to pursue this topic?]

[Curiosity was nothing but a handicap. He'd been taught this since he was very young and learned to carefully quash any and all feelings tied to it. But Shinji's only human. And as a human being, he wants to understand Shintaro.

The pencil stops.]

Many people are afraid of my father. [It's a soft reiteration of a fact.] Working for him has a lot of bad connotations.

[Should he say this?] You don't seem like a bad person.

[He picks at the toughened skin of a callous of his palm, thinking of the gun that left it there over the years.]

Your old man offered me a better paycheck and protection than what I had before. It was just Ene and me taking jobs when they cropped up. It was more convenient.

[Plus, Gendo's agent had brought up Momo. Nobody else had ever been able to trace Shintaro that well. He couldn't say no, since Gendo's offer to protect his sister was another way of saying they could harm her whenever they want.]

[So it was just the money, then? Shinji looks up from his homework to scrutinize Shintaro, expression quirked in confusion.]

You've done this sort of work before?

Not exactly this. [He rubs the back of his neck.]

I did hacking jobs. Naturally, that came with having to get rid of people coming after me. That was about it... I still do it fr this group sometimes.

[Ah. He understands why his father would want someone like Shintaro around, now. Strong as they were in their muscle, their virtual strength wasn't much to write home about.]

I'm sorry. You had to switch from that to watching me...

Sorry? It's been fun. [He means that in the most sincere way.] It's been years since I got to hang around anyone like this, and you're loads better than any of the other idiots I could've worked with, or being stuck in a room answering emails for Gendo.

['Fun,' huh? Part of him wonders just how fun it was to be endangered almost every day, to have to help a kid like him with homework each night. But that expression on Shintaro's face is honest and open. It's why he frowns a little instead and turns his attention back to his homework.]

... you're weird.

[In a good way.]

You didn't say it when I introduced you to the AI that I work with, but you call me that now?

[He can guess why Shinji would call him that, though.]

Ene's nice. [He likes her, despite her obnoxious energy.] She fits in better than you do, too.

You can keep her if you want. Take it. I'll put her on a USB since she's only a couple megabytes.

... just like that? You aren't even going to ask her?

I've tried this before and she finds her way back immediately.

Honestly, I wouldn't do that to you anyway. It would suck if she ends up liking the place.

... you mean, if she likes me over you.

She does call me pathetic and disgusting all the time.

Maybe you should flatter her more often.

I guess.

[He sighs, tapping at his screen. Ene's out to someone else's computer today, or just browsing the world wide web.] I guess I could take her out sometime. It's been work for her all the time, too.

You ought to. She probably needs a vacation. [All of them do, to be honest. But when there's a killing to be made, the wicked don't rest. He inclines his head slightly towards the older boy.]

It'd be good for you too, Shintaro.

Unfortunately, I wasn't given any vacation days when I got hired here.

[He accepted that, of course, after a sarcastic comment or two about worker's rights and federal law violations. He hasn't minded; it pays the bills.]

But I can probably get us a day or two out of town. Wanna come?

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