inkwreaths | AU; ain't no rest for the wicked

[Shit happens. That's how it is for people like them. People you don't want to stay, stay, and the people who you don't want to go, go. Seki never had a rosy view of the world, anyway. That sort of idealism was landed you in two places:

1) Out. (Rarely.)

2) Dead. (Almost a guarantee.)

He wouldn't waste away from longing if he killed his thoughts for the future and focused on day-to-day survival. Down here, you've got to find your way to live and sink your teeth and nails into it. Don't ever let it go. Don't even think about changing things, just because some pretty blonde girl's grabbing onto your waist.

So Seki doesn't talk about it. The incident's manageable if he treats it like nothing because shit happens, right?

Right?]

Sure thing. Hang on tight.

[Fucking incredible. Monica's always had a way to upset the depressed zen he's set up for himself. He still has to find out if it's a good or bad thing.

The noodle restaurant in question was a block down from a worn-out high school, where the kids spent more of their time truant than learning. Some of the students were hanging outside, smoking cigarettes and talking tough. Seki glances their way before he holds open the door for Monica.]

You can order whatever you want. Just don't make me broke.

[Monica doesn't consider herself to be too different from the rest. She was an odd ball, certainly; people called her that, and she was determined not to get tied down to anything too strongly. Connections become weight. Weight will drag you down when you need to get away and kill you faster than if you lived just to survive. Either way, it was a formulated, boring, pathetic fate that waited for all the kids that wound up here. Seki's hair tickles her face as she holds on to him during the ride, but she presses her face to his shoulder to avoid it and swears that if it came down to it, she would leave him behind and prioritize her own survival.

Sentimentality and self-sacrifice were unnecessary and just a burden around here. She was only with this guy because he provided stimulation -- if the city were an aquarium and she was the fish, he was pump that kept the water turning. Without a current, water turns stale and loses oxygen and suffocates the fish living inside. (Not that he was a lifeline or anything; if this pump broke, she just has to find another one.)

She smiles brightly as walks through the door.]

You were really cool until that last sentence, Seki. You shouldn't admit to your weakness on a date or you'll never wow a girl.

[But the city was a small aquarium, in the end. Their lives won't go like in the movie. Unlike N**o, there was no way to escape outside the glass to go home to the large ocean, and they were destined to die here.]

[Seki lets out a huge sigh, rolls his eyes at her just to show that he really does find her jabs at him insufferable. He eases himself onto one of the rickety chairs.]

You let me drive you all the way here. I'm guessing you're wow'd enough already by me.

[There's a chair right next to him that she slides on to.]

Well, you're right. It's totally romantic to ride on the back of someone's motorcycle. [She grins.] Did I make your heart go doki doki?

[Yes she did just say that]

[oh my god what kind of girl did he pick up]

... you serious? [monica pls]

No.

But I did want to say that at least once to get it out of my system.

I'm never dating you.

[He reaches for a menu. None for you, Monica.]

[You know what ur getting Seki.

A surprised look. And then it turns into looking hurt?! And then sad as she looks away and mumbles.]

I know that.

[spoilers it's an act]

[good because seki masumi is a grade a numero uno douche]

You shouldn't look that way when a guy's paying for your meal. What do you want?

Kiss me.

[They're both douches to each other tho lbr]

You aren't my type, and that isn't on the menu. Pick again.

[Damn. Thrwarted. She sighs loudly and reaches for a menu herself, flipping through it.]

But you're my type, Seki. Sort of.

[That earns a glance from him.]

Dates are nothing but tiring commitments. Girls are tiring. But I guess settling down is okay, once you hit a certain age.

[She turns to blink at him.]

Like getting married? You?

You crazy? That's not what I'm saying at all!

[Can't a guy philosophize aloud in peace???] Do I look like the sort who'd want to get hitched?

That's why I was confused! Choose your words wisely!

You know me well already, why the hell are you surprised... [FIDGET FIDGET] C'mon, pick something to eat already.

Mmmmmm. [She stares at him for a bit before turning to the menu. And pointing to one.] This one.

[He peers over her shoulder to see what she's pointing at. Ah. That's within his budget. He waves the server over to place their orders. His is the same as hers. Once that's done, he leans back.]

I mean-- [wow this kid wasn't done with his external monologue] --a ton of people rush into that sort of stuff because they want security of some sort. Stability and all that shit.

[So philosophical. She will listen as she sips her water.]

A lot of people are scared of being alone, I guess.

[A pause.]

I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

You think so? I think it's kind of pathetic.

Mm, I guess you'd say that. But, I think I should change how I said it, too.

It's not being alone that's scary. It's being left behind, and becoming alone. [She leans forward to prop her head on her elbows.] People like us who're already alone don't have to be afraid of that.

But if you have someone, and you don't want to lose them, I think that's normal. I think it's what you do to keep from becoming alone then, or what you do once you are, that determines if you're pathetic or not.

[Seki was in agreement with her, but the explanation still makes him press his lips together in an unhappy gesture. It made sense. Once you had a taste of something good, why would you want to go back to a state of when you had nothing?

It made too much sense to him. Maybe that was the cause of his unhappiness. What a hypocrite he was, harping on others like this.

Their orders arrive. Seki breaks his chopsticks.]

What we do, huh? [But having someone hurts. People were nothing but dirty crooks deep down. Himself included. Monica, too.] I'm glad I won't have to make those choices.

[Slowly, slowly he stirs his noodles.]

... I think I'm glad I don't have to choose between things.

[There's that comment, and then a few minutes of silence as Monica stirs her own noodles, then starts slurping up a few mouthfuls. There's clearly a story or explanation behind her statement, but she's taking her sweet time in telling it. It's only after she's taken a sip of her water and wiped her mouth, hands already on her chopsticks again, that she continues.]

I don't really have anything. Nothing I'm obligated to protect, and nothing that I can't stand to lose. So if I have to, I never have to think too hard about what I should cut off to keep going.

[She sighs, though.]

It's easy but unfulfilling, isn't it?

[All he's asked from life was something easy, something he can write off with apathy. He'll slip into a peaceful, boring death, and no one will remember him. But it's moments like these: how his eyes slide to the edge of his vision to watch Monica's movements, how his ears relax to the easy pace of her words, the warm atmosphere within the restaurant--

Ah, who knows how our lives will turn out. Let's just try to stay as good friends as possible.

--and for some reason, it stings when she says she has nothing to lose. What the hell? That's the arrangement they chose. Why was he hoping she'd say something else?]

There's no reason to make our lives any more difficult. Any moron would know that. [Stay alone, be safe. Yet he remembers what that boy so long ago said: Seki, aren't you lonely being by yourself all the time?]

Who cares if it's unfulfilled? It's not like we've got anything to fulfill.

Edited 2014-12-31 03:09 (UTC)

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